hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
