Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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