doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
