3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
