the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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