You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
