I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize