i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
