it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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