I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
