He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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