i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
