Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
