I wannas sexs uuuuu
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
