just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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