yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
