i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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