His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
