And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
