very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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