Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
