Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
