we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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