At least make sure they are 18
Why
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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