i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
