we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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