are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
