4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Duck Duck Cougar?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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