your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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