Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Randomize