you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
