if i can run in heels then i can drive
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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