it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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