we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
