I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
