so that wasnt chicken after all
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
