Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
no, he came in my armpit
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
