On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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