My friends, they love my intelligence
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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