I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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