the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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