You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
