I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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