No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
