you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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