Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
