I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I wear drunk well.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
