i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
