I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
