Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I think your dad took our porno
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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