just tell him i said nine months
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
