): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I looked at my own cervix.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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