I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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