How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
