What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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