come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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